#it even had me writing fanfic in order to cope

[smalltownfae]

Rating: 2/5 Stars

I am just so deeply disappointed in this one. I cannot believe this is the conclusion to my favourite book in the series. I can't believe that this is the resolution to that plot and those characters that were so brilliantly introduced and developed in the previous book.

In this one, the plot revolves around stealing the alchemist's books in order to stop people from creating another rekharo. That is a simple enough plot so one would think that this book would be more character focused like the previous one. It was not. There was a lot of focus on the importance of obtaining these books and on Alec's clan, which had their first appearance at the end of Shadows Return.

While Shadows Return focused on the characters, this book felt more focused on the plot (especially in the second half). Character's feelings were set aside in order to advance the plot and at times they even seemed to act out of character. There wasn't enough time dedicated to the characters reflecting on their actions and the interactions with each other were too brief. The best part of it was the first half, which was more slow moving and looked like a slice of life story, as it's typical for this author. The first halves of the books are always less action oriented. I really liked the scene with the huge adult dragon.

I absolutely hated that the new characters introduced had their own perspective. That was not necessary and I was bored out of my mind reading those parts because I found those people so boring. It would have been fine to see these characters through the main perspectives. There was too much time dedicated to these people that weren't fleshed out enough and that I didn't care for. The pointless battle near the end was the worst too. Why was this really necessary? The best part of it was seeing an original rekharo because the idea of them and the design is just cool. I could have gotten everything important said in those boring chapters through Alec or Seregil's eyes and the book would be better for it.

It's even worse taking into consideration that to give room to these new uninteresting characters, the two actually complex characters from the previous book show up very little. The ones that are actually important due to the relation they have with the two main characters. They were treated so badly after so much care was put into developing them in Shadows Return.

[SPOILER] Illar didn't act like himself, which is more or less understandable, but I hated how everyone treated him and was disgusted by him because of his trauma. I hated that Seregil only spared him a few words after everything that happened in the previous book and even in the brief scenes in this one. Sebrahn was a bit more lucky because the first half actually had some nice moments with him and Alec and Seregil, but he was set aside on the second half and Alec gave up on him with too little on page reflection on his part. Sebrahn was also very accepting about being abandoned when it's obvious that he does care for Alec. Everything about those resolutions was a mess. I hate how Ilar is left with an open ending and I refuse to believe he got caught again to be tortured. At least I was spared the confirmation and I can pretend he managed to go live somewhere and be safe. [END SPOILER]

I am so upset by so many of the decisions in this book, but there were still some good scenes, especially between Alec and Seregil and the ones in the first half of the book. I just wish more care had been put into the characters readers already knew and were interested in.

This is definitely my least favourite book in the series and I hope there is no other like this. The way it ended makes me think that there was a reset button and the next books will be just random fun adventures. It will be like these two books didn't happen and I am so mad about it because I loved Shadows Return so so much. Well, I can always reread it and ignore this one.        

[icurushasfallen]

Here's my take on this post

Okay, so I have my own theory. I’d like to think Wade wasn’t loved as child and has serve abandonment or attachment issues. Through the movieverse, we see Wade as this goofy guy. He’s quick-tongued and annoying and had an extremely crude sense of humor. But I think there has to be some truth in his jokes.

Wade was never comforted as a child. When he cried, his mother was the type to watch in silent resentment. I think Wade’s mother was similar to Beatrice HorseMan from the Netflix Show Bojack HorseMan.

Wade, in the comics, was a love Affair of Slade Wilson and his sister-in-law at the time, Hailey Wilson.

As a child, Wade was raised by his mother and his uncle, Mickey, whom he believed to be his biological father.

He later gave many conflicting reports regarding his childhood. Among these was his claiming that his father abandoned his mother while she was pregnant with him and she took out her anger on him until, as an adult, he beat her instead. He also claimed that his mother died when he was five and that his father, an army officer, became abusive, causing Wade to grow up to be a thug and criminal.

When his father got his act together and tried to rein in his son, one of Wade's friends shot and killed him. On another occasion, he told a writer that his father was a teller of bad jokes who abandoned him and his mother while he was a boy. And because of this his mother turned to humor, alcohol and home shopping networks as a coping mechanism. He believed that he ran away from home so that his mother wouldn't need to spend what little money she had left on him. All of these accounts appeared to either be false memories implanted in his mind or lies made up by himself. (All stated verbatim by the Deadpool Wiki)

But me frankly? I think the first statement had some truth in it. Hailey had a run-away affair with Slade in my opinion. Slade probably left for one reason or another, leaving them both broke and borderline homeless.

Theres not much Hailey, but I like to believe she was a young woman down on her luck and got herself pregnant with Wade. She then started to resent Wade and maybe even beat him at times. His uncle? A drunk and (Im my interpretation of Wade) the start of Wade’s trauma induced Hypersexuality.

I like to think he did kill his mother accidentally. Maybe in a fire (A motif to the fire would trapped in later as adult after his mutation)

And circling back, I believe thats why Wade has such a soft spot for kids. Like Russel in Deadpool 2. He see’s a child in his same situation more or less and realizes the kid in like him in a way. He was never comforted and therefore comforts others. I.E his humor and remarks. Maybe it’s not how other people comfort. But I like to think that it wasn’t always bad with his mother. And maybe they did bound over the odd joke or two. But whatever the reason, I think Wade just needs to comfort others in order to comfort himself.

I’m in the works of writing a fanfic based on this. It’s gonna be Christmas themed in lue for the holiday season and whatnot. But if you’re interested in a synopsis, I’d be happy to deliver.

@atimesfeeler @twilightkitkat @icarusredwings @ramblingautisticman

[nebulousbrainsoup]

[23:17]

SUMMARY: San has been stuck. Maybe it's time to let go. PAIRING: Choi San x gn!reader GENRE: angst angst angst AU/TROPE: nonidol au, exes WORD COUNT: 907 TAGS/WARNINGS: not beta read RATING: G A/N: back at it again, using fanfic to cope. also, thought a little timestamp might be a good way to get me back into writing for ateez. shout out yappers [ @justhere4kpop, @cheolism, @kwanisms, @yoonguurt ] for helping me craft this.

The diner still looked the same. The barstool San settled on still had a tear in the vinyl straight down the center, and it still jolted under his weight, tilting a bit to the right. He still had to squirm until it clicked back into place, and even then he spun away from the counter without his leg as a brace. The same mismatched coffee mugs, donated by local businesses for advertising, were still stacked up on the shelf in front of him, and the waitress still grabbed the third one from the left—this time, something from an insurance agent whose name had long been rubbed away—and filled it in the same movement.

She didn’t reach for the next mug from the left anymore. That had changed.

Everything else remained the same. 

San still ordered a slice of apple pie, warmed up, à la mode, while he doctored his coffee with a little creamer cup and a packet of sugar. He still held his steaming mug in both hands, clutching it close to stave off the winter chill that had followed him. He still made small talk with the waitress before she sauntered back to the kitchen to fill his order, and his eyes still drifted over to the windows, watching as the snow fell lazily. The lights still reflected back at him in the glass, the one in the back corner, just above the kitchen door, flickering every few seconds.  

Silence fell over him, no one peering out from behind him in the reflection to prompt him with a question or lean over and show him a new cat video. That had changed. 

So little had changed, but so much had changed. San closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath, held it, and exhaled shakily. 

The waitress still spoke the same chipper greeting as she set his food in front of him, but her smile these days was just a little melancholy. He still savored his treat, balancing each bite between the pie and the ice cream and making sure not to wash the taste away too quickly with his sips of coffee, but when he finished and looked at the clock, only fifteen minutes had passed, and he hadn’t needed a refill of his mug. He still went up to the same cash register to pay, but now, his bill was half the price it should have been. The long brown coat was the same one as last winter, and he pulled it tight around himself in the same fashion he always did as he stepped into the night, but it felt stuffier with the fleece scarf around his neck, too.

Last winter, it would have been around yours. 

He wasn’t sure what exactly had happened, where he’d gone wrong. One morning, he’d woken up beside you, pouring his love into every soft kiss he planted on your lips. You looked at him like he’d hung the stars. The next, his bed had been cold, and when he’d found you staring out the balcony window at the winter’s first snow, you’d slipped away from the wrap of his arms around your waist.

“Jagiya?” 

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

The breath left him like he was still in the room, still staring at you, still stunned and floundering for the words to beg you to stay. San inhaled sharply, the chill air filling his lungs bringing him back to his senses, and kept walking. He wasn’t sure when he had stopped.

He’d spent a few hours angry. At you, at the world… At himself, for whatever it was he’d done to make you leave him. It faded quickly, leaving a simmering hurt behind, sadness mixing with confusion. It had been so sudden, and even in the minutes you’d spent gathering your things, you hadn’t bothered to spare him an explanation.

His search for one had been entirely fruitless. Texts went unanswered, calls rang through, and after the first time that little red exclamation point taunted him, telling him his message could not be delivered, he gave up. The anger came back for a split second, of course, but most of what he’d felt was a sense of defeat and a fresh wave of sadness. He would never have an answer, would never know why. 

He still wondered, of course. On nights like tonight that were a little too quiet, a little too cold, a little too dark, he wondered. Without you, everything was still the same. His coffee tasted just as bitter, his pie just as sweet. Snow still fell and lights still flickered and the world still turned. He was still the same man, still had the same cat you’d loved so much, laughed at the jokes you’d fall over onto him to and worked at the same dead-end job you cheered him on through. He had not changed, nor had the world, but it seemed so much dimmer without you beside him.

Joyous laughter contrasted the sorrowful sigh he released as the bus doors opened. He stood just to the side, let the people filter off—and barely caught you in his arms as you stumbled down the slick steps and nearly fell into the snow. You still looked the same. The snow still fell, the wind still chilled him, and the bus doors began to close.

San smiled as you righted yourself, a joyless thing, and let you go.

© September 2024 nebulousbrainsoup | all rights reserved. reposting and translating of author’s work is prohibited.

[pedroscurls]

Always Here For You

Character(s): Frankie “Catfish” Morales and Reader (female, second person POV)  Summary: Frankie comforts you as you cope with your grief. Word Count: 1,193 Author's Note:  This is part of @pedrostories 1k celebration. Prompt quote is: “Alright baby, alright baby. Come on now.” and fanfic trope is Hurt/Comfort. I also just want to express my gratitude for allowing me to submit this even past the deadline. This was very cathartic and very close to home (with the recent loss I've experienced). I know I said I was taking a writing hiatus, but this was something that had been in the back of my mind for a little over a week now... Warning:  mentions of grief

Frankie knew that you were struggling with the recent loss of a loved one. The news came suddenly; you had gotten a call at four in the morning and when he heard the tone of your voice shift, he knew that something was wrong. He didn’t know how to comfort you, how to tell you that eventually, things will get better, because he didn’t know for sure. He had been more acquainted with loss and grief more than any person, but seeing you in this much pain… Frankie felt helpless. 

You barely ate. 

You barely slept. 

Every night, you cried into his arms. 

And every night, Frankie didn’t know what to do. He tried to make you smile, make you laugh, but nothing he did worked. He hated seeing you in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it. 

Grief was crippling, Frankie knew that. The fact that someone could be gone in a second and the world would continue on like nothing happened, it was frustrating. 

And you had always been so positive, always looking at the brighter side of things, even when it didn’t go your way. You were always a bright light in Frankie’s life, but the news of your loved one’s passing had dimmed that light. 

And tonight was no different. You were sitting on the couch in sweats and one of his hoodies that were obviously too big on you. The hood was over your head and you were mindlessly watching whatever was on the television. You hadn’t even turned your head to look in the direction of the front door opening. 

“Baby?” Frankie called out, removing his boots and his hat to set on the coffee table. 

You looked up at him and Frankie felt his heart break. Your eyes were red, puffy, and you were quietly sniffling. 

“Hey,” you whispered, stretching your arms out for him. Frankie bit the inside of his cheek before he sat next to you instead, pulling you onto his lap. His arms snaked around your waist as your arms moved to wrap around his shoulders. You buried your face against the side of his neck and felt tears building in your eyes once Frankie’s hand rubbed your back. 

“How was your day today, hermosa?” 

“Rough,” you whispered shakily. “I’m glad you’re home though.”

Frankie nodded and pressed a kiss to your temple. He continued to run his hand along your back in a comforting manner, which he found you leaning further into him. He could hear your quiet sniffling and could feel the tears begin to stain his shirt. 

“Did you eat today?”

You just shook your head.

“Baby,” Frankie said quietly. “How about I order us some pizza? We can have a movie night, eat some food, cuddle…”

“I’m not hungry,” you replied, but your stomach said otherwise. Both you and Frankie heard your stomach rumbling and you pulled back enough to look up at him with soft eyes, biting your lower lip. “Don’t listen to that.” 

“Sounds like you are, hermosa,” he said with a smile, gently poking your abdomen. “What about breadsticks?”

You shook your head. 

“French fries?” 

You didn’t respond, but instead just kept your eyes locked on his. 

“Oh, so French Fries might be something we can work with.” 

“And chicken nuggets?” you said with a hopeful tone. 

Frankie smiled, gently leaning in to peck your lips. “I’ll get you anything you want as long as you eat something, hermosa.” 

“Can I come with you?” you asked, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. 

Frankie’s eyes lit up. It had been a little over two weeks since you found out the news and since finding out, you didn’t want to leave the house, which Frankie understood. “You sure?” 

“As long as I’m with you, I’ll be okay.” 

Frankie smiled and moved a hand to cup your cheek, wiping away the fallen tears. He stared deeply into your eyes and leaned in to press a soft kiss on the tip of your nose. 

“You know I’m here for you, okay?” 

“I know,” you whispered shakily. “I know.”

“And no matter what, you don’t have to go through this alone, hermosa.” His thumb caressed your cheek and his eyes bore into your own. It was overwhelming, the amount of safety you felt just being in Frankie’s presence. 

“It’s just–” you whispered, tears beginning to pool around your eyes again. “I don’t know how to cope with this, or move on from this and I just–”

“The pain may never go away,” he said honestly. “And there’s no timeline for these things, so if you want to cry, you want to scream, you want to just let out your emotions, then do it, hermosa. I’m here” 

“But it just hurts so much and–” A breath caught in your throat and you brought a hand to wipe at your eyes, but Frankie moved both hands to cup your cheeks, wiping the tears from your cheeks. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “It’s okay, hermosa.” 

You looked into his eyes, searching for comfort in the depths of his brown orbs and immediately felt yourself breaking down all over again. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders tightly, burying your face against his neck as you let out a quiet sob. 

“Alright baby, alright baby,” he whispered, holding you tightly against him as well. “Come on now,” Frankie said. 

Frankie could feel your body trembling against his own, his shirt beginning to get wet with the stain of your tears. Your sobs filtered the living room and Frankie shut his own eyes, hoping and wishing the pain away. 

“I’m here, baby,” he said quietly. “I’m here.”

You continued to cry against him, taking comfort in his strong arms wrapped around you. The pain of losing a loved one was nothing like you ever experienced before; it was debilitating, crippling, and every time you thought about what happened, your heart just broke all over again. 

But Frankie was always there to pick up the pieces. 

To hold you.

To whisper sweet reassurances in your ear.

Frankie was your home, your safe place, and you didn’t realize how badly you needed that right now. 

When you felt yourself slowly begin to calm down, you pulled away to bring the sleeves of the hoodie to wipe away at your eyes. You looked over at Frankie and noticed him staring right back at you with soft eyes. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

Frankie let a small smile line his lips. He leaned in and pecked your lips, pulling back enough to rest his forehead against yours. “And I love you, hermosa.” 

Just as Frankie was going to say something, your stomach growled once more. Louder than earlier and he saw a small smile line your lips. He felt his heart soar at the sight and when he heard you let out a quiet giggle, Frankie finally felt like things were going in the right direction. 

“So, fries and nuggets?” he teased.

“And a milkshake?” you asked.

Frankie smiled. “Anything you want, baby. Let’s go.”

[emilija04acer]

Lackadaisy fanfics list <3

Recomendation>>>

Characters: Viktor, Mordecai, Nico, Seraphine

Lackadaisy Five by GreyRose24

Viktor Vasko’s first impression of Mordecai Heller is that Atlas has hired a scrawny kid to be his new partner. His second impression is that Atlas has hired a very irritating scrawny kid with something missing in either his head or his heart. Alternate title: five times Mordecai let the mask slip in front of Viktor and one time he didn't

Words:27,291

This is one of my favorites. I found it when I was searching for fics that had some focus on Mordechai's Jewish background. I like how the author depicted their relationship (not because it isn't romantic), they show genuine care for one another and I want to read more.

(If you like the ship see number 3)

This is the first part in a series of 5 works, I'd recommend this series.

2. Lackadaisy Communion by GreyRose24

The Savoy siblings’ first impression of Mordecai Heller was that Asa Sweet had handed them off to a rude bookkeeper to be their new leader. Their second impression was that the boss really needed to watch his back because their new colleague clearly had his own agenda in mind. Alternate title: four times the Savoys messed with Mordecai to get to know him better and one time they didn't. [Fluffy side story, fits around Lackadaisy Diable & Triad]

Words: 25,720

The final installment of this series was mentioned earlier. Even without reading the entire series, I found it possible to understand everything. I love fluff so this is the jam.

3. What Is This Feeling? by FOxFIRe_27

4 times Mordecai had some…confusing feelings about Viktor + one time it finally clicked.

Words:12,781

Actually wanted the 2 to be happy so it's a bit out of character, but it's sweet!

4. Frozen Hearts by meticulous-metzger (EdgeHedgeShads)

In an attempt to raise Viktor for a job without freezing his tail off, Mordecai decides to drive in the thick winter snow, only to have an accident. Irritated his young triggerman continues to be reckless, Atlas orders him out of the speakeasy and into Viktor's apartment to recover, leading to some awkward conversations, situations and a whole lot of bonding.

Words:5,948

Mordecai has an accident and Viktor takes care of him, Unfortunately uncompleted...

5. The Hotseat by meticulous-metzger (EdgeHedgeShads)

After a storage barn gets raided by a competitor, Mordecai and Viktor are sent out to wait for the perpetrators to make a second hit. Unfortunately, it's the middle of summer, and Mordecai isn't coping with the heat well.

Words:2,697

This one is a bit more... sweaty. Nothing too explicit, just the first kiss in the summer's heat. Again not finished... Damn!

6. Stopgap by Stariceling

Viktor and Mordecai look after each other, at least long enough for the bleeding to stop.

Words:2,223

A break from shipping, another platonic fic!

Mordecai took out his handkerchief again to finish the interrupted task of fastidiously cleaning the blood from his face. “That should suffice until you see a doctor.”

“No doctor,” Viktor muttered. “Alvays threatening to chop off legs.”

7. Lackadaisy Liaison by bubble_bees

Viktor couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment their relationship developed into this. It was natural. They gravitated around one another as if that’s what they’ve done all their life. Or: a look at Viktor & Mordecai's partnership, up until its rather violent end.

Words:2,143

The betrayal of getting kneecapped buy your dear friend. Poor Vik...

There should be more fics focusing on Viktor and Mordecai. On Viktor in general. Also on the Savoy siblings.

I know they aren't the main characters, it's to be expected but come on! Will I have to write? I want a fic in which Viktor gets an apology for being kneecapped into early retirement, well a longer fic than this>

I Know Those Eyes/This Man Is Dead by Lack-luster-daisy (cowgremlin) We are back to shipping.

Please write for the series! Finish them, please!!!

"Papa me want more movie!"

Why are there only 4 pages for Mordecai and Viktor (platonic) on AO3? Well looks like someone's got to change that.

[prepare4trouble]

So, after my post about finding old fic, I decided to make a post, of fanfics I’ve loved over the years. I thought maybe other people might enjoy them too.

It’s not a complete list, there are a lot of other fics that aren’t in the list, mainly because I have and have had favourites saved all over the place, and I’ve got still more that I probably haven’t remembered. I’ll add more later.

All of these are complete, I haven’t included WIPS as much as I have some I loved, I doubt they will ever be finished now. Maybe I’ll add them later too, with warnings of course.

Most of these are pretty long. They are all ones I’ve gone back and read over and over, some though, I haven’t read in years, so maybe they’re not as good as I remember. Hopefully they are though.

This list is mainly for my own benefit, but I hope someone else gets some enjoyment out of these too, and please feel free to reblog and add your own faves.

So, in no particular order:

Cruel Necessity by Epona Harper - Real Ghostbusters fanfic. 79k words.

Summary: An attack on Peter has far-reaching repercussions.

No Little Charity by Perspi - House MD fanfic. 37351 words.

Summary: It was an old ritual, old magic from before the world had rational explanations and cold science. Cold science had failed House; Wilson had nothing left to try but this. (You need to be logged in to view this one)

Tarred and Feathered by Crydamoure - Good Omens fanfic. 75735 words.

Summary: It was the most obvious punishment. The Archangel created to carry Her voice suddenly rendered mute.

(Gabriel falls, personally inconveniencing Beelzebub)

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan - Good Omens fanfic. 10452 words.

Summary: "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?"

Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.

 "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."

 AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it

Eclipse by AconitumNapellus - Star Trek TOS fanfic. 82773 words.

Summary: Spock is blinded in an explosion on the Enterprise and relocates to Earth for his rehabilitation. While he grows used to his new world and finally returns to the Enterprise, he and the crew must find out if the explosion was an accident, or terrorism.

(This one is part of a series, but you can get to the others from this one)

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm. Good Omens fanfic. 99423 words.

Summary: As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:

--His clothing was expensive and stylish;
--He wore very strange but noticeable cologne;
--His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;”
--He looked angry;
--He was wearing sunglasses.

What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?

The Manipulation of Julian Bashir By The Tystie. Star Trek DS9 fanfic. 218000 words

SUMMARY: When you have lived a lie for over half your life, how do you cope when the truth comes out? A story about Julian Bashir, set in season 5.

[sequencefairy]

Writing Wrap-Up 2023

It is, once again, the end of the year! I wrote a lot!

First of all, I have officially published all my original stuff written for Space Fruit Press on Amazon Kindle under my penname, so if you enjoy my fic, I would love to encourage you to check out my original stuff, too, since all those dollars help me on the journey to doing that full time instead of having a full time job that really cuts into my fangirl time.

In addition to what is available on Amazon, there is another anthology of work coming from the press, and I will have a story in it! I need to write it, but it will exist. I'm very excited about this story, as well.

From a fanfic perspective, I have published only three things this year:

And I Was Never Afraid of the Dark (Oh, the Weapon You Made of My Heart) - shyan, wip, unfinished, 9.4k, demon!shane

Shane pulls Ryan out of Hell at 3:37 on a Tuesday afternoon. He’s not looking at his watch at the time, but he infers the time later after he’s finally managed to get up off the desert floor, and has hauled them both back to the car he’d parked in the lot at the trailhead a little over a week ago. Ryan’s a deadweight in Shane’s grip, head lolling back against Shane’s shoulder and body limp and unhelpful in Shane’s arms. His eyes are closed.

My Rivers Tilt Towards You - geraskier, fae!jaskier, 29k, strangers to friends to lovers, canon-divergent au

Geralt pushes the door open one-handed. As it creaks, announcing his presence, Jaskier looks up from the long table he’s sitting at. There’s a mug of something at the bard’s elbow and his songbook is open in front of him. “Geralt,” he says in greeting, and for a moment, Geralt is sure that the bard’s eyes shine in the dark, reflective like his own. He blinks, and the moment passes. Jaskier’s mouth curves into a smile. “Is it done, then?”

Coax the Cold Right Out of Me - shyan, complete, 4.1k, vampire!shane, established relationship

“Shane,” Ryan says, insistent, eyes gleaming in the dark. Shane lets his eyes fall shut, and sighs. The little red and white cooler they usually bring on shoots got left behind at the hotel, an hour and a half away in Jackson. “I’ll be fine,” he says, not looking at Ryan, and ignoring the ache in his gums. He’s gone longer without, he can make it through one shoot and then the drive back before being sated. “You don’t have to be.”

(more rambling under the cut)

So I spent too long making this, but whatever. Let's have fun with infographics, baby!

Anyway, interesting look at the last couple of years for me! I have clearly been in a quality over quantity place regarding wordcounts + things published over the last few years.

I have, over the past couple of years, been feeling like my writing has changed quite a lot, both in terms of what I am interested in writing, and also what I am interested in publishing both to AO3 and as original work.

I think there's also probably something in here about the fall out from the pandemic, as well as something about the fact that I've been medicated for the ADHD for a year now, and I've had to learn how to write in a way that is not an unhealthy coping mechanism and instead as something I do for fun, as a hobby that I enjoy.

What I have been producing lately, in 2023, is some of my favourite writing I've ever done, and I feel like I really levelled up this year in terms of tackling themes and ideas that the me of 2021 wouldn't have even imagined was possible.

With that said, the other fun comparison across years is this one:

Clearly, when you only publish three things in a year, it skews your stats, but I do also think that My Rivers was definitely a thing I needed to finish and write in order to become the person who is currently sitting on about 70k or so of active WIP for a different fandom altogether.

I adore, always, all the love that my shyan fic gets, this fandom is demonstrative in a way that no other fandom has ever been for me, and I've made the best kind of friends in this fandom. Even if I never publish another shyan fic ever (which I am certainly not saying is the case), I still treasure every single one of these fics which allowed me to meet people who've become extremely fucking important to me.

In addition to published fic, of course, the other thing to talk about is all that stuff I'm sitting on that hasn't been published (yet).

These are the seven most active of my WIPs. I am desiring to publish Moonlight on Broken Glass before the end of December, but since I'm the porn and instead of writing it, I keep going back to refine other parts of it, I have some doubts in my ability to get a draft done in the next few days.

All together, that's about 82k of wip, in various states of done that I'm working on. So, really, this year, I've written like, well over 100k, which is always my quiet goal going into any given year.

I don't have anything else to say about this, but I had fun making these little pictures and looking at all my wips. It was, all told, a good year for writing, even if it started off kinda slow.

[scribefindegil]

authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Yayy! Thanks Mary! <3 After agonizing it for a while, my top 5:

The Real World (Mob Psycho 100, post-Mogami arc) is absolutely my favorite fic I've ever written. It's some of my best prose, I'm really pleased with how concise and focused I was able to keep it despite touching on so many characters, and it let me distill down a lot of my thoughts on the themes of the show and why it's so important to me. And I wrote it during the absolute worst stretch of the curse, painstaking sentence by painstaking sentence over the course of half a year. I am so so so proud of it.

Fisherman's Knot (Gravity Falls, post-canon fic focusing on the Stans, their deeply-entrenched mental health issues, and their eventual recovery. Also there are selkies.) At 104k words, the longest piece of writing I've ever finished. Writing it was a journey; I took a long break but I'm so happy and proud that I managed to come back and finish it and that there were still people who were as excited as I was to get to the end. The response to this fic blew me away; it started out largely as a coping mechanism to deal with my own poorly-treated mental illness and I feel really honored that my writing resonated with so many people dealing with similar things. I grew so much as a writer over the course of it. Both the big moments of catharsis--Stan's glitter and Ford's realization by the harbor--were things that were so powerful and electric in my head that I worried I wouldn't be able to put them down in words that did the feelings justice, but I did!

Bloom (Discworld, a Glorious 25th of May fic set a few years after Night Watch) Everyone who sets out to write a Discworld fic is undertaking an extreme act of hubris, because not only are you trying to emulate a specific writing style, you're trying to write like Terry Pratchett, which as we all know is basically impossible. Still, I think I hit some good resonant Discworldy notes in this little piece and really nailed the Themes I was going for. Periodically the Tumblr post version gets a little burst of notes and it always makes me really happy that people are enjoying it.

First And Final Orders (Mob Psycho 100, Dimple character study) Hi. Have you heard of ring composition? I love ring composition. It is my single favorite literary device (and I love a LOT of literary devices), so I had to include one of my fics that makes heavy use of it. I also love pointing at a piece of media and going "Hey. Hey have you thought about how there's kind of some Discworld themes here? What if we thought about the Discworld themes together?" And ALSO i love DIMPLE!!! I hope this fic helps explain why.

Casualties (Gravity Falls, missing scene from the finale) So the reason this fic makes this list isn't so much its quality (though I do still really like it!) but the fact that it was my first-ever completed fanfiction. I'd idly poked at the idea of writing fic a couple times before but never made much progress. I hadn't actually done any creative writing for years at that point. I came to fandom late due to a combination of being scared of the internet and, when I did check out my real-life friends' fandom blogs, feeling like everything was so focused on shipping that there would be no place for me and the kinds of stories I cared about. Gravity Falls changed that. I'd made friends and felt like part of a community for the first time. I'd read fanfic that I loved and that focused on the sorts of relationships I really cared about. And so finally I decided that even though it still felt really scary, maybe I would try my hand at actually writing and posting a fic of my own.

360,000 words and 54 works later, I still think it was a pretty good idea.

[takami-takami]

THANK U FOR THE TAG MWAH MWAH Was tagged by @aquadenks to rec some of my own fics so! Some author's notes too, spoiling the subtext lol but giving some behind the scenes info! I'm just gonna pick my favorites, not so much the ones I'd recommend.

For recomendations: Stray Dogs Will Crawl Home for sfw; How to Fix The Ache or Can't Help Myself for nsfw

My faves:

Nightmares. | angst, hurt/comfort

I wrote this to cope with the GRAGGGHH feeling after watching the Lady Nagant episode. Like I wrote this late as hell at night too in order to be normal. I like the way I wrote the panic, it was fun to try and tweak it to be more in character and make the body language and dialogue believable. I find his theme of corruption and being used by the hpsc and feeling shackled to be very interesting to explore. I had to write the boy being comforted for his past or I'd die.

I Think I Love You. | fluff

The cutest fic I ever wrote. Pure good feelings. I genuinely love this one, I think it's adorable and head-over-heels!Keigo is my weak spot. I giggled so hard to myself when I wrote about the platonic kiss to ground himself. He's so cute. Fuzzy feelings. Happy happy happy.

Happy Birthday. | angst

Pure angst. PURE angst.

I had this in my notes for a long while, actually, and had the idea in my head for longer. It's a catharsis piece, very personal. Whenever I would have a moment related to a Thing, I'd pull out my notes app and work on this and just vomit my feelings onto the page. I still remember stopping in the middle of grabbing groceries and pulling out my phone to type the "what did you make me do" part as soon as I thought of it. Typing outside on my phone like a madman. Very therapeutic. Even though it's my least popular fic (probably because of the subject matter and lack of x reader) it means a tremendous deal to me.

How To Fix The Ache. | smut

The smut fic of the bunch— HEAR ME OUT, this is one of my favorite smut fics so I picked it as a representative (My other favs are Crybaby, Accidents, and Sweet, Sweet Indulgence. Not including the mini drabbles. I can answer which of those I like if anyone's curious!). So I'm putting it here. KEIGO YANKING IT MY BELOVED!! I like the pacing here, the tension building, the payoff at the end where he mcLoses it. Sexually frustrated virgin mess Keigo :(((((.

A Dog Unfed. | angst, hurt/comfort

This is my most recent fic but also another favorite of mine! Literally helped me so bad to write this. Do not know where I would be if I didn't write it. I feel like, I honestly didn't want to turn this into a fanfic at first. It was just supposed to be a thing for only me to see about how I'm feeling because the feeling was overwhelming; but I wanted to share it, so I turned it into a thing with Hawks (which also helped a ton)! I think you can tell, at least in the beginning part. I break the fourth wall at the end a little which I thought was cool but definitely was worried about doing. I let go of a lot of inhibitions and a desire to Appeal to Others when writing this one. Like I told myself when I was writing over and over, "all my writings are mine but this one is Mine." Very special place in my heart. <3

But my FAVORITE fic is still being written. Idk when it will be finished though, it's a big one— I don't like posting chapter by chapter, so I'm just gonna finish all the chapters first and then slam it onto the table hopefully.

Tagging ANYONE steal this. :3

[auteurdefeu]

Okay, as a fanfic writer and reader, I love reading about the struggles of self worth with a side of hurt/comfort and affirmations as much as the next person, but I’m noticing a theme as I watch the GO fandom scramble to write fix-its to cope with the (beautiful) ending of season 2.

This is my own interpretation, I have no intention of telling anyone they’re wrong <3

In s2ep6, when Crowley left Aziraphale’s shop, he waited by the Bentley, so sure that Aziraphale would change his mind. Giving him a chance to turn around right then and there. He’s full of anger and despair, and while I recognize that he’s probably angry with himself, I’m sure that- at least to some extent- he knows his self worth. He didn’t leave until the window of opportunity had fully shut. I can’t imagine him fully devolving into self hatred over this and blaming himself, or viewing this as a sign that he’s not good enough- as he said himself, Heaven is toxic, he knows first hand the way things are run up there and how quick they are to take control of things to their advantage or discard things they don’t like. I refuse to believe that he’s blind to the fact it’s Heaven that’s taken Aziraphale away from him, he don’t drive Aziraphale away himself.

Perhaps I am being too generous in thinking Crowley is not so oblivious, but I have to believe he knows Aziraphale loves him. After everything they’ve been through, relying on each other, the team that they were and the quiet lives they made for themselves, everything about that screams love and devotion. Upon hearing that Aziraphale had been offered this position as archangel, he had assumed he’d turned it down, thinking they both knew that their life together was the best they could hope for. Crowley would also have to be deaf to miss the point that, in his pleas to go to heaven, Aziraphale was asking for it to be their Heaven, where they could go together. Not to mention the way he says “I need you” in such heartbreaking desperation… they relied on each other for all this time, so if Crowley can recognize what it means to himself, how he feels towards Aziraphale, I can only hope he’d know the same is true in return.

“You idiot. We could’ve been us.” This is not someone wallowing in self hate or wondering where he went wrong. He’s angry, at heaven, at hell, quite possibly at the All Mighty, and yes, at Aziraphale. But he knows the ways of Heaven, he knows what they’d do to keep their order. If he couldn’t run away from Heaven then he might find a way to let it burn. Whatever theories are floating around, “coffee theory” or whatever- it’s universally understood that Heaven is manipulative and is actively doing harm to Aziraphale, mentally and emotionally if not physically as well (I’m personally against the coffee theory but you do you), and they are at fault.

I will shut up about this soon but Aziraphale had come a long way from when we first saw him in the beginning of Good Omens, when Adam had just been delivered. Him referring to Crowley as if he was part of hell and on the side of the demons , “You’re the bad guys”, set off alarms all over because they’ve worked past this. This was especially established centuries prior as they met with Job, seen earlier in the season. To me it reads as someone falling into old habits as they renter the cycle of abuse. A cycle that Crowley managed to escape.

I understand why Aziraphale did what he did and I can understand how he got to this point. Aziraphale’s not an idiot, I’m sure he’s got some plan that kept him going even when everything pointed towards the fact he shouldn’t go, like the mentioning of the Second Coming. It was a painfully beautiful scene, but I do not blame him. Crowley is not an idiot either, even if he may be a bit of a dumbass sometimes (affectionately). I can only hope he’d recognize these things too.

[woozis-boy]

Hii. I just came across your blog and I have a couple questions..

How old were you when you realized you were a regressor? Because I think I might be one, but I’m only fifteen so maybe I’m too young to regress. And how do you know when you slip? Because some times when I’m tired I get giggly and babble but idk what that really means.

And whenever I read age fics about kpop groups, the reader always regresses with a member or their cg but I don’t have one. Do you find it hard to regress when alone? And how do you know how old you are when in little space?

I know I have a lot of questions but I’m scared and confused and I’ve never talked to anyone about it so I was hoping I could talk to you.

But I love you find so much comfort in Woozi, I do too, he makes me feel safe and protected☺️

hey there!! I'm so glad I made you feel safe enough to ask all this, I hope I can help you out.

my journey as a regressor, I think I was doing it for a long time before I made the connection and before I even knew what it was. I only admitted it to myself that I regress coming up on two years ago now, but I was writing agere fanfiction back in 2018, and de-aging fanfic probably about 13 years ago. The first time I came across anything agere related was when I was 15-ish, so about your age. I'm 27 now. But I think I have some foggy memories of being much younger than that and showing signs of regressing. I've seen other age regressors that are younger than you and active in the community, too. Obviously there's a limit to how young you can be to regress to certain ages (You can't regress to being mentally 8 when you are physically 8 lol) and I don't know how young you go but I doubt that's a problem here haha.

For me, I can tell when I'm regressing by how I feel and think. I feel giddy and bubbly in a way I don't when I'm big, and always kinda pouty. And I have a bit of a lisp struggling with R's and L's, and my balance is worse, so I'm wobbly. I tend to want to curl up in someone's arms and get cuddles and just be held and doted on and loved... But I don't have a caregiver, either. So I settle for daydreams. Lots of them. A lot of them with Seventeen and Woozi and Joshua giving me the parental love I never got as a kid, and the safety I never had.

Honestly, a lot of figuring out my age is just vibes and a gut feeling. Sometimes it's easier, like if I want a sippy, or I want to run around outside and play. But most of the time I just play around in my head with how I feel calling myself certain ages and figure it out on what feels right.

It can be challenging to regress on my own, especially if I'm stressed from work (these last couple of weeks have been brutal tbh), so admittedly sometimes I have to calm myself down with big-me techniques like meditating or something in order to be able to indulge in my main coping mechanism hahaha. And sometimes I don't even regress at all, despite my best efforts. But focusing on just trying for a little bit even helps me relax some!

It's okay that you're scared about this. I was too and I think that's why it took me like 10 years to admit I was doing it! And even then, buying my first pacifier was terrifying. Letting myself try intentionally regressing was the scariest thing, and if I hadn't have been mid-panic attack and desperate for relief, who knows if I ever would have! But it's going to all be okay, and YOU are going to be okay. If it helps, it helps, and if it doesnt, it doesn't, and that's okay.

All this is from my perspective of doing it as a coping mechanism and reclaiming a childhood lost to bad things, but if you're doing it for fun or just because it feels good, that's okay too! That's why I regress most of the time tbh. It's so fun and relaxing to just kick back and color with my paci and some Blues Clues. Half of the reason I'm looking forward to moving out is because I'll be able to regress whenever I want and not have to hide it. So whatever your reason for regressing, totally valid. You don't even need a reason!

I hope this has helped in any way 🥺 Feel free to message me whenever you need or if you have more questions! I may be a tiger cub when I'm tiny but I can be a papa bear when I'm big, so I'll be happy to help you with whatever you need 😊

(Also yeah! Safe and protected is also exactly how I feel about Woozi 🥺 I call him eomma in my headspace for a reason lol. I'm sooo glad you get it!!!)

[littlemoth15]

You know, I've come to realise a few things over the last few days. Since my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer that has spread to the bone, I've barely had any time to do anything. I get a few hours in a day to come on here, scroll, reblog, maybe write something or waste time googling in order to scratch that itch that what I'm writing is accurate...and I try and multi-task by listening to music. Lately it's Eminem but that's because he suits my mood. But, at night when my mums had her pain killers and she's asleep, I put the TV on and watch something, which is how I cope. I've been re-watching The Big Bang Theory, even though I've seen it so many times since it started airing that I can leave it on the TV and be in another room and I just have to catch a line and I know the episode and exactly what's going on but it makes me smile and I don't do that much anymore. (I fast forward through some episodes out though. I dont need to see Ramona. ugh.) Anyway, if it's not tbbt, I'm watching Modern Family or Good Girls....and I guess the point of this long rambling post is that...It's good to enjoy the things that make you happy while you have the time and the luxury of doing it, because god knows what can happen. I'm not the best writer...and I'm not confident enough to post anything. I just do it for myself. And, I'm currently writing two fanfics, one of which is about shamy and an original book that I've been working on for 3 years. (to be fair, it has 22 chapters so far, sooo....someone could do the math and I might feel better about how much time I wasted, but y'know...) It's an outlet for me. I get to go into different worlds and play and it distracts me from the serious, life altering crap that I can't escape from on a daily basis. And, that can be suffocating, especially when your dealing with it alone with no help. I wish I had more people to talk to about silly stuff...But regardless, don't let anyone make you feel silly or uncool for loving what you love. I might have had something more profound to say when I started typing this post and it's probably gone sideways, but oh well. Happy weekend everyone?

[aelaer]

Alright, let’s take that follow up ask 😂

18. What are some tropes that others love, but you just tend to avoid?

Or something along those lines. Things you like/dislike. What marks the difference between a “good” and a “great” fic for you?

Whelp I lost my draft as I started this. I figured that's as good a sign as any to save this as a draft and review it a few times to make sure I'm critical of the *genre and trope* and not the individual writing it. And yes I think they're two *very* distinct things. And I'd like to piss off as few people (who aren't blocked) as possible while still remaining true to myself. We'll see how successful it is.

Cut cuz it got long and if folks click it thinking they might get mad, and then get mad, well, you can't say I didn't warn you. I don't like quite a few popular tropes in a lot of stories you see Stephen in. And I'll not hide my own opinions on my own blog. 😜 What's the terminology? Don't like, don't read? Yeah, if (general) you don't like strong opinions that might go against yours, don't read on. You've been warned!

Let's start with some of the most popular AO3 tropes, taken from the 2016 Fanfic Survey from Fansplaining. Here's the top 20 tropes across the survey and if I dislike it, I have bolded it and have a comment beside it. Otherwise I'm indifferent to it or I like the trope.

Friends to Lovers

Canon-divergent Alternate Universes

Slow Burn

Rescue Missions/Saving Each Other

Bed Sharing (aka One Hotel Room Left) Honestly I find this trope really stupid in most circumstances. It just makes me roll my eyes. This isn't to say that fics with this trope are badly written, I just... think the situation's really contrived. There's better ways to explore pining.

Teamwork

Fluff

Hurt/Comfort

Huddling for Warmth I only dislike it if it's adding unnecessary sexual tension. Like if you're in a perilous situation you don't need to talk about how omg touching him makes you feel things. It's like - dude you're gonna lose fingers otherwise. Characters, you need to shut the fuck up, this is not the right time. You guys can be romantic later. Hell this even counts for established relationships; characters getting aroused when they're in actual perilous situations is one of my biggest pet peeves in romance. It's dumb. (Note- this doesn't count if they're joking about it, joking is a great coping mechanism. I mean legit horniness as they're half-dead or something. What the fuck. Exception if the author explicitly lists being in legit perilous situations as a fetish in which case, good for author for that creativity.)

Mutual Pining

Established Relationship

Fix-it Fic

Isolated or Trapped (e.g. in a cave, a Canadian shack, etc.)

Missing scenes or fill-in fic

Everyone Knows They're In Love

Unresolved Sexual Tension

Fake Relationship (incl. Married for a Case and Marriage of Convenience)

Pining

Worldbuilding

Only 2 out of the top 20, not bad! Most are "take it or leave it" but some I like so yay.

Okay now for the next part.

On my Doctor Strange AO3 filtered page that I have up in perpetuity on my phone, I have the following filters applied to exclude (which takes off about 20% of all fics in the category from sight). Ordered from least likely to offend to most likely to offend others:

Non-English fics

Peter Parker/Stephen Strange

Stephen Strange/Reader

Not Civil War Team Captain America Friendly & Not Steve Rogers Friendly

An honorable spicy mention that isn't easily filtered so I don't filter it but I get into it below. It involves Peter.

Not English fics: With as picky a reader as I am, auto Google Translate simply doesn't work well for me. Trust me, I've tried and I was very sad when translate proved to be less than great. I wish I could speak/read all languages.

Peter/Stephen: I had to block this one because it was just coming up too much after NWH, but America/Stephen falls here as well (it's just significantly rarer and I can easily skip those fics). No hard feelings to those who write/ship it because they're, you know, fictional, but I'm definitely not a fan of the trope. Underage with two minors already skeeves me out, underage with a middle aged man and a minor is a big no-go unless the adult is framed as a villain in the narrative (and with luck gets justice served to him). But in the shipping sense this isn't usually the case in the story, and while some authors do a great job in showing it's not right/good, this isn't my flavor of Stephen at all. Even villain Stephen.

In the case the minors are aged up to be legal, I still dislike it. I find it incredibly creepy IRL when a person goes for someone who is young enough to be their child, and I can't separate that feeling in the fiction I read for the most part. The exception to this rule is when the person is like over 35 - by that age you know if you want to be with a 55 year old, and you have all that life experience. But there's so much growing done in the 20s and a lot of life experience that nothing but time can provide.

Finally, I find men in their 40s who are looking for someone (especially a girl) 24 or younger incredibly immature and, frankly put, the absolute opposite of dignified and sexy. There are exceptions of course, but my good guy!Stephen doesn't fall into that category. He's interested in brains, personality, and life experience, with looks being like, the 4th factor, haha, so no need for such a large age gap. Again, just skeeves me out.

Stephen Strange/Reader: I wouldn't have blocked it if it wasn't so prevalent, but it's literally Stephen's second-most popular ship. All respect to anyone who enjoys reader-insert fics, but I just... don't. The handful of times I've tried it I couldn't see myself as the supposed character because they were so different from who I am as a person. "Choose your own adventure" books that I read in my youth worked for me because I had choices in steering the story; that's not the case in reader fics so I'm left seeing "myself" doing things that I'd never do in a million years. That contradiction just makes me unable to appreciate them myself.

Big reason I don't have that problem with OCs is because they're not me, and so I don't have that weird contradictory feeling while reading the fic. They're another person so I can appreciate them as another character, especially if Stephen manages to stay in character within the story. But as romance isn't a genre I actively look for, I don't tend to look out for OC fics either as they're usually super romance-heavy as opposed to the romance being a side plot (which is how I get through canon char romances - if it's a side plot in the very long story I'll get through it for juicy plot).

Not Civil War Team Captain America Friendly & Not Steve Rogers Friendly: Blocking these two covers the majority of the stories that are not other-character friendly, and it blocks almost all Civil War Team Iron Man fics, so these two tags cover basically the entire gauntlet of that type of MCU fic. Ever since AO3 canonicalized those tags my blood pressure has lowered significantly and it's made browsing AO3 so much less stressful.

I'll say it up front: I don't think a fic can be good writing if it's written to be Not Team Cap Friendly. That's not to say that the writer themselves is incapable of writing quality works because that's usually not the case. But for works with that specific trope, I do not think that work can be good. A significant factor of what I consider good fanfic writing/bad fanfic writing is characterization, and the characterization is usually butchered in this genre of fic.

If an author chooses only to write this trope POV, all the more power to them. However, I think they are limiting their capabilities in choosing to ignore the grey storytelling the MCU brought to the story and are definitely limiting their visions by choosing to view these grey characters and their grey choices as black and white/good and bad with all the nuances erased. And because those choices are made, I don't think that the fic that comes out with those limitations can be considered good writing. And here are the reasons why, largely centering around characterization:

The only way these fics work is by making Steve completely OOC. I've seen writers erase all his leadership capabilities established in the first 3 films he was in, his ability to think fast on his feet, any sign of intelligence that is firmly established in the first three films he was in, and make him callous in a way that he hasn't ever shown in canon. I've seen writers make Steve unaware of email, I've seen them say that he never led men in WW2 (and isn't an actual captain), and most ridiculously, I've seen them say he was trying to kill Tony in Siberia and left him for dead there and completely ignore all his training in that if he wanted to kill Tony, he very well could have. (And ignore that T'Challa was there as well ffs - that's another rant.) But yes - this is all OOC to Steve's character. If someone wants to know why saying Steve trying to kill Tony in Siberia is OOC and thus not Steve friendly, send me a separate ask as I have a write up on Discord that I can bring here if folks want clarification on that front.

If you have to make other characters OOC to make your best boy shine better, I don't trust you to write best boy well. And usually he isn't. Tony is a terribly flawed character which is why he's so so so interesting, but Not Team Cap friendly fics are determined to erase all of Tony's flaws and everything that makes him interesting. For instance, I've seen Tony suddenly become an expert negotiator and politician, ignoring both IM2 and his lack of finesse with Ross in CW (this isn't him delegating the work to lawyers/PR people - this is in fics where he's the figurehead behind this because he's suddenly an expert political negotiator). Then in some fics Tony's suddenly a socialist, ignoring the fact that he's made his fortune and still makes money from his corporation and there's nothing in canon that suggests that he ain't still benefiting from the capitalist institution. He's *generous*, absolutely, and I headcanon he put in hundreds of millions into rebuilding Sokovia - but he's not suddenly a socialist. He's a rich white man with rich white man privileges and while he's doing his best to make good in the world, he has benefits that the rest of the world just doesn't. And Tony's still arrogant and it can still be hard to work with him and erasing all those flaws makes him just... not Tony. He's just this bland vanilla OOC caricature.

In a lot of "not team cap friendly" fics I see a tag along the lines of "actions have consequences". If that's the case, why the hell wasn't Tony prosecuted for making Ultron? Wanda didn't force him to make anything - she amplified his fears, absolutely, but he made the robot. In secret. And that robot killed a city. Tony in CW is rightfully really regretful about it - but if actions actually had consequences and Tony tried to get Team Cap like, jailed or forcefully retired (like he or his friends do in some fics), Nat should strike back and tell everyone that he was behind Ultron. IT'S LIKE EVERY CHARACTER MAKES MISTAKES OR SOMETHING AND THAT NONE OF THEM ARE PERFECT. WHAT A THOUGHT. And that's why that tag is not very well thought out. The tag ignores the stark (hah) fact that all Avengers have made mistakes, some of them major - and Tony's absolutely not exempt from that. And his mistake-making didn't stop after he became Iron Man.

All of Tony's friends ignore that Tony recruited a 15 year old to Germany and guess what? Pepper and Rhodey aren't Tony boot-lickers. They'd give him the appropriate "What the fuck were you thinking" language because yeah, that was fucked up! Ignoring that happened is another big item in these type of fics.

Stephen's personality is typically bland and he often has no life beyond Tony's in these type of fics. He definitely has no opinions on the Avengers that *differ* from Tony because him having his own opinions, or taking the time to form his own opinions from his own interactions, would be showing more nuance and depth than these fics want to get into.

Stephen's often petty and violent, especially towards Steve - and again completely ignores all of Tony's mistakes because Tony doesn't make horrific mistakes, oh no! I'd argue the petty violence is OOC, but fucking DS2 and fucking Waldron Jossed that. So if you want that petty violence, it's technically seen on screen, but that's a *Waldron* idea so... yeah. I don't know any big Stephen fan who is particularly fond of Waldron and what he brought to Stephen's character. But this whole essay is about OOC characterization so I can't argue that this is OOC anymore. Fucking Waldron.

Like Stephen, Rhodey and Pepper also lose their personalities and ability to argue with Tony because Tony is always right. Rhodey forgets that Tony is a billionaire and can easily go use a lab in Stark Industries buildings across the country, or go to one of his many homes that all billionaires have because they're *billionaires*, if he *has* to avoid Steve for some reason. Rhodey also forgets that Tony could handle this with the best therapist money can by if he can't physically handle being in a room with someone he dislikes. If Steve actually tried to kill him in a fic, please go back to the first bullet point on this list. An IC Steve wouldn't so there wouldn't be that fear of more physical retaliation because Steve wouldn't be trying to stop Tony from killing Bucky, so again, unless Tony tries to kill Bucky once more, the situation won't escalate to violence. But yes, in these fics, Rhodey would prefer that the civil rights breaking Accords that allow indefinite imprisonment with no promise of trial stand. He'd rather the rest of the Avengers remain fugitives with no home because he forgets his friend is a billionaire with virtually unlimited resources to go wherever he wants and to get the help he needs. The growth we see in his stance that came with IW after he saw the Accords' rollout just poofs away.

Pepper tends to be turned into a secretary again just there to help with Tony's emotional needs instead of a powerful CEO whose really fucking busy running a company.

So with an OOC Steve, it usually leads to an OOC Tony, OOC Rhodey, OOC Pepper, and OOC Stephen. And that is why I consider these fics bad.

There may be exceptions to this, but when I was still attempting the tag in 2019, I never found a fic under the tag that was an exception. I stopped trying the last 3 or so years. And unless you're an author who's written in that tag and you want me to read your story and want to try to change my mind (because you're a masochist? why would you want to do this to yourself?), don't send me those fics. 99% I'm going to find them bad.

I'm not gonna subject those authors to the above opinion because they enjoy the black/white world and they have a huge readership who loves that crack. And good for them! That doesn't change my opinion that I think it's lousy writing because characterization is 70% of my opinion of a fic. If you have all this OOC characterization in a non-crack/parody fic, I just won't have a high opinion. And I'll say it in my own space under a cut, but I'm not going to search you out anymore - I haven't since 2019 (early 2020 was the cut off). Writers have the right to write what's popular - and I can dislike that popular content. But it's a lucrative readership and if that black and white world brings you joy, then all the more power to you.

Important: Not character-friendly fics are different from Dark!character fics. Dark character fics acknowledge that in canon, the characters are written as protagonists and heroes, and the author is purposefully changing this. In not character friendly fics, the author is usually inventing something stupid or terrible (and often enough ooc) for the character to have done/not done to strengthen the position of their chosen protagonist, or is ignoring canon traits of the character to, again, strengthen the position of their chosen protagonist. This is especially seen with Steve.

Honorable mention: I dislike the majority of fics (no idea of percentage but very likely over 50%) labeled Supreme Family, *strictly* due to how Peter is treated. Let me explain.

Peter is an incredibly independent teenager living in NYC with his own friends and his own brains and solo superheroing the majority of the time. These fics have a tendency to erase all of this, making him overly reliant on Tony, making him act as if he's aged between 8 to 12 rather than 15 to 18, and erasing his connection to May, Ned, and MJ. His whole life is made secondary to be part of the Tony Stark fanclub and it's *weird*. Peter is so much more than his connection to Tony and fans of this trope sometimes forget this.

I'll give a real world example. There's a large age gap between my sister and myself, so I got to see her in her teenage years while I was an adult. She's smart, fiercely independent, and had good friends and extra curricular activities throughout high school just like Peter did. We had family dinner together on occasion but she wanted to be doing her own thing as much as possible. She'd text my parents for the "Hey I'm alive" check ins but otherwise? She was AWOL as much as she could get away with.

Peter may be less so, especially if May insists on dinner together at least a couple times a week with his form of extracurricular activities, but I cannot emphasize enough how Peter having his own life is so important to his character and him being around Tony most of his free time outside of school and Spider-Man is *weird*. Even if he likes him!

This is just one teenager in my example, but a staple of teenagers is finding their independence as they grow into adulthood. Clinging to other adult figures does not tend to be the trend with those who have a big independence streak.

Peter in canon is all about establishing his independence - and you could see this especially throughout all of Homecoming. His independence is integral to his character. And if Tony was his adopted dad in the fic, I'd say him always hanging out with him is doubly weird because, again, independence. It's a major part of most teenagers and it's very well established in Peter's personality.

So yeah. Fic writers please stop writing him like a 10 year old unless he's actually 10 in the fic. Let him live his own life in the Supreme Family trope. Let him go out with friends and do after school clubs and not go to Tony's lab after school every day of the week because it's just not him and his movies established that very well. Let him get annoyed at the tracking and let him yell at his parental figures because conflict is normal. Let him be a teenager.

(And as someone who loves Found Family, I can't emphasize enough how much that theme falls short if the characters within the family forget their independence and lives outside of the family. It's just no fun.)

So yeah. Have all these spicy hot takes!

[songbirdsandsugar-moved]

🌟 What inspired you to create/choose this muse? 

She started off as a character in a fanfiction I was writing AGES ago. I don't remember everything that went into her exactly. I kinda had a rough idea of what I wanted her to be in order to fit into the story I was creating, and she really just ended up taking on a life of her own. I fell in love with her while I was writing her, and decided to RP her on here, and she's grown and changed and evolved. The core parts of her backstory have always remained (the car crash, her mom's illness, her inability to cope, and eventual institutionalization), but there's so much now that's been changed and added and changed again.

And while I've created plenty of OCs for fanfics before, she's the only one I've ever RPed. She's the only one that's ever truly embodied being a muse. She just stuck to me. I fell in love with her. Even though I'm the creator of her trauma, it met my own trauma, and I think writing her became a way for me to cope.

[justanotherghostwriter]

Hi Twin! Here you go for the ao3 wrapped asks: 6, 17, 20, 30 please! Sending love!

Twin! Hello! Thank you for asking questions <3 I answered 6 and 30 in another ask, but I'll copy and paste the answers here for easier reading for you :'D Hope you're doing well!

6. Favorite title you used

The letter W, I found out this evening when reviewing the title of my fic for the year.

I don’t like writing titles, actually; they’re the most difficult part of writing for me, in many ways. And with so few fic to choose from, this was a struggle for me to answer. If I had to choose one of the five fic... We Saw a Spark. Even without knowing the song reference, that line speaks a lot about hope and the sudden striking of new things that could be dangerous, yes, but could also bring light.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

You know, I sat with this a long time trying to figure out if I enjoyed Katara or Zuko more this year. It’s like choosing between my children. xD I think I’m going to say Katara because 1) I’ve done it more and stats speak, right? And 2) the space I was in this year really leant itself to writing Katara with my heart in deeper ways than I ever have before. Especially in We Saw a Spark which was (and will be, when I get back to it, eventually lmao help) a bit of an exploration for me of parts of the need to help others to deal with pain. The good and bad and un-lable-able bits of that response. I never went through Zuko’s coping mechanisms, per se, but Katara’s are a lot more familiar to me, at their core, if not in their actual outworking. And that was something special to do.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Here I am to drag myself fully. The actual work of mine I’ve re-read the most is A House Built With Many Stones (ATLA, gen) which was written in 2020. I will fully admit I love the scene of Aang and Zuko and the big reveal so much that I sneak back there to relive it. Also Suki and Zuko friendship. And then I lie there and imagine what I would have done if it were a Zutara piece and —

The piece from this year I’ve re-read the most was probably We Saw a Spark, but that’s because I wrote it all out of order and on my phone in bits and pieces and I needed to quadruple check for errors and the reminder of what on earth I was trying to get at weeks ago in the line to the bank, or whatever. It’s still less to get through than Atlas, which I’ll only re-read to empathise with what I put my poor readers through ;)

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

That I didn’t finish any of the event fic that I swore I would be done by their deadlines? No, honestly, We Saw a Spark somehow gained chapters and is months and months overdue. I’m Pikachu surprised meme that, wow, breaking my self-vow never to post something before it was complete ever again led to me ghosting my own fanfic. I guess I’m just really living up to my username in ways I never, ever expected.

Less cheekily, the biggest surprise is always the feedback. The love in the comments and the tags and the bookmark notes. The recs. The fanart (thank you <3). I hope I never stop not expecting it.

Ask me AO3 wrapped questions.

Fic from 2022:

Atlas: Rebuilding (Zutara)

Dog Days (Zutara)

We Saw A Spark (Zutara)

What Goes Must Come (Agent Carter)

While the Music Lasts (Zutara)

[anderwhohn]

@dutyworn asked: 🎭 : Is roleplaying/writing a way to cope when things get rough irl?

💌 Monday Malarkey [ meme - accepting ]

Eh, not really, because 'rough' is essentially a persistent daily constant for the last four years or so, and when things escalate even moreso above the normal level of stress, my attention span usually gets shot to hell and so I can't focus on writing even when I want to.

Plus with the speed of my writing - regardless of rp or casual writing for fanfic or original works - having slowed down significantly as my health has deteriorated over the years, while something might be written in the heat of the moment during high emotion, I'd probably already moved past it enough to not to want to keep dragging up the emotions that inspired the thing in the first place. (If I had more spoons, I could go into the psychology side of things a bit, but I just don't have the spoons, so suffice to say it'd be counterproductive to processing the things and coping/healing to keep reopening myself to those emotions, much like having PTSD triggered repeatedly in a short amount of time.)

Besides that, I struggle more to put words together in the right order when I'm highly stressed, given that I'm usually dealing with depersonalisation then as well. It's this reason I tend to self-isolate to work through things in private, and maybe try to find a suitable distraction to help me relax along the way. Writing, however, is no longer the right kind of distraction for such, especially roleplaying.